Elon Musk Promises Travel to Anywhere on Earth in Under an Hour

Get from Sydney to London in 51 minutes using a big f****** rocket. Musk's exciting new plans for city-to-city travel.

Time, what’s time? Who has it and how do I get some? In a world as busy as ours we speed things up to get more done. Dentist appointment at 10, and a business meeting at 12, 200 miles away? Don’t fret. The Bugatti Veyron just might get you there, along with a prison sentence. But what if your meeting is half way around the world?  Well, to solve this predicament we have to put cars aside, and turn to our Lord and saviour Elon Musk for a helping hand.

Musk was at the IAC, nonchalantly introducing revised plans to make a species of ape multi-planetary, when almost as a side note, he made a promise to use the very same technology for city-to-city travel.

‘Anywhere on Earth in under an hour,’ he said.

During the presentation Musk spoke about the BFR (hinting that it stands for Big F****** Rocket) – a privately-funded reusable spacecraft which SpaceX expects will replace all of its launch vehicles by 2020. The tech billionaire claims that the craft will be able to transport approx 100 people from New York to London in just 29 minutes, and from Sydney to London in 51. The exciting demo video by SpaceX shows an animation of passengers hurtling through space at a speed of 27,000 km/h (approx 16,777 mph), before landing elegantly on a launch pad in much the same way as the current Falcon 9 does.

This is a man who finds time to run Tesla, develop brain-computer interfaces with Neuralink, dig tunnels with Boring, and save humanity from AI, all before lunch. It’s no wonder some say he’s the real-life Iron Man. Time and time again his astounding ambitions have come to fruition, which is why this vision of a brave new world is all the more compelling.

So there it is. The answer to our problems; a phallic shaped space craft capable of launching abhorrent orange men out of orbit and out of sight. Good luck making it to your business meeting!

Marc Ward